Monday, 10 May 2010


Well! All's quiet on the ex friend front! I haven't had any contact with her at all although I am going back to the gym tonight so we may bump into each other there... The only thing that concerns me about this is the fact that one of the reasons she got so annoyed with me was because I wouldn't go to the gym! I can see why, therefore, my arrival at the gym may wind her up but I am prepared to be honest and the honesty is that she made going feel so chorelike and unappealing by trying to make me go when other things had to be my priority. My issue was, I am 33 years old, if I want to go to the gym I will go. Her issue was, I was being lazy and letting her down by not going. My issue is, the only person I am letting down by not going to the gym is myself and that's my prerogative. Although it isn't apparently! So we'll see! I felt a desire to go to the gym almost straight after reading her 'talking to you is stressful rather than pleasurable' email and I hadn't realised up until then that the reason I really did want to go was because I was being dragged there. I think subconsciously (and truthfully subconsciously) I felt that if I went I was going to please her and get her off my case and not because I wanted to. Sad eh?! I have to admit I felt a bit bullied by her; or perhaps 'harassed' is a better word and not going may have been my only way to stand up for myself!

This week has been a week of vomit. Nice. My worst thing in the absolute world. First of all Bladel Strudel ate grass and puked it straight up. Apparently cats do this when they don't feel well. He may have not felt well because I fed him prawns from my sushi so this could have all been my fault which makes it all the worse! I couldn't drag him away from the fucking grass either; he was loving it. Thankfully he puked it up outside of the house which was a bonus.

Then on Thursday we went to 'all you can eat' at The Flaming Wok Chinese. I was thrilled at the prospect of all you can eat (being obese n all). It was Dale's nanny's birthday and so it meant going with the lady herself, Dale's mum and stepdad and Dale's brothers, Luke and Mark and Mark's new missus and her two children (8ish and 17ish). Only Luke didn't come because he'd had a tantrum because Mark's new missus was bringing her children. Yes, we were confused by this too. However, I concluded in private and at a later date that the tantrum could only be due to the fact that it meant Luke would not be the 'baby' at the table and would therefore have to act like an adult. He's 21. There was embarrassment as Mark asked why Luke was not there and Dale's mum had to make excuses because she couldn't very well point at the children and say 'because of those two'.

Another important point to mention is that on the way to the restaurant Dale asked his step-dad who he had voted for as it was election day. Whilst explaining to Dale previously what type of people voted for which party, I'll cut to the chase and say I told him 'I bet your stepdad voted tory'. Well I don't think he would have admitted it but Dale's mum admitted it straight away and I cried 'I knew it! I knew it!' and went completely over the top at how I was right and how it was so OBVIOUS he would vote tory. I hate tories. Nuff said.

So we practically ate the whole menu and Dale, who was on the red wine, was sick. In the toilet in the restaurant thank god but I could tell he had been although he denied it for a while because he knew I would be utterly disgusted and mortified.

But it gets worse.

Today at work someone projectile vomited. I swear to god it was like something from the exorcist and I was completely traumatised. Thankfully she was outside and I was inside but only about 3 metres away and I fully saw the whole lot come out of her mouth. I feel I will never eat again; I am horrified. It was right by the fucking gate too! I made a colleague escort me out of different exit as I couldn't bear to walk past it. Fucking freaks honestly!

They fucking well say things come in threes eh?! I am hoping that's my quota of puke related incidents for now because they have almost driven me to an eating disorder and agoraphobia. Urgh.

Well, the election. Dale and I royally fucked that one up in the way we ALWAYS fuck things up. We left it too late to register; well we only had five years. So we didn't get to vote even after we'd read so much about each party and talked about who to vote for at length. A slight saving grace is that we never actually decided who to vote for anyway. But I can assure you it wouldn't have been tory. Ever. And I have to be honest, I'm almost glad I didn't vote, especially after studying each policy carefully. Because now it appears that these, apparently very important and unique-to-each-party policies they were all desperate for you to agree with are just flimsy wanky shit things they're prepared to drop instantly if it means the difference between winning or losing and pissing off the party they hate the most. Lovely. What a massive pile of bollocks. And I actually sat through most of the bloody thing too.

I tried making truffles again last week and they were even worse than the first lot. I liked the last lot in the end but this new lot were proper disgusting. They didn't go truffle-like either, just remained quite runny and horrid. I'm over trying now anyway; the novelty's worn off.

This weekend was a bit of a weird one; Jess is back from Sri Lanka so we all went out on Friday. I say 'out' but we were at her boyfriend's til very late. When we got to the pub we pissed Jess off by talking about overdrafts and politics. I think she thought that both were depressing subjects but it's not like we were crying into our beer; conversation was animated and I was quite enjoying the discussion! But for both of us her return was possibly an anti climax!

I was hoping to report that I am one week closer to an iphone but a HUGE electricity bill could have put a stop to that. I am devastated at that prospect; that I have to pay a bill over something I want. Especially because it's only because the electricity company have fucked up which is something that is too depressing to touch on. Hmmmph. I will get the fucking iphone though and if we have to eat pasta and rice all fucking month so be it! At least I can stay in and play with the flippin thing.

Dale still hasn't heard back about those jobs. One of them said if he hadn't heard back by the 12th so there are two more days. I can't imagine ALL of them have just written him off! We have last Thursday's paper but haven't even had time to look at it yet.

On Saturday I went to Tesco on my own. I never do that any more. Being in a relationship has made me lose my independence. Well I fucking loved it. I only spent £30. Dale and I are rubbish at shopping; we can spend £100 when we only went in for a loaf of bread. We go food shopping when we're bored for crying out loud. ANOTHER reason I am obese!

I tell you what though; the other day, Wednesday, Dale had a day off so I took the day off so that we could fuck off somewhere and discuss sorting the house out. We figured (read I figured) that it would be more fruitful to discuss sorting the house out whilst not actually in the house otherwise we would get distracted. Dale would have planted things whilst I typed no doubt. So we went up on the cliffs and talked about what we should do and where we could put things and do with the rooms that have just become massive dumping grounds. Another reason we did this from elsewhere is because Dale has a habit of bulldozing everything the way he wants it; for example... when we were moving I asked for a bookcase on freecycle. A lady replied and through the hecticness of moving there were several messages exchanged before I actually arranged for a friend with a van to go and get the book case. These messages included complicated arrangements and directions and grovelling and apologising. So FINALLY I get this bookshelf from this lady and into the house, go to work, come home, Dale has filled it with his stuff. Now at the time I said nothing of this; the fact that I had gone to so much effort to get this bookshelf and then he had just commandeered it for himself. But then he did similar a few times and I bought it up. Hence many 'it's not actually about the bookshelf, it's the principle' type conversations. And at one point, tale between his legs, Dale disappeared upstairs and when I finally went up to see what he was doing he'd moved my office around. I calmly explained that I want us to discuss where things go - I want us to agree together where things go. So if we didn't go elsewhere to discuss the house I would have found myself sat in a Dale house which would have been a jungle-like place with my stuff in the loft and his stuff on shelves for all to see.

Anyway. My point is I didn't think we could have fun without spending money but it was lovely sitting up there. We had a picnic... ah... actually we did buy the picnic from a market in the big smoke in the morning. There it is. We spent money.

On Friday we are heading up to Gloucester. Dale told me his other family - the family of his real dad - always have a party in the garden on what would have been his real dad's birthday. So we booked a hotel in Gloucester - a worry in itself as it is £35 for both of us - not even each and I'm guessing that means we get a few bin bags to lie on in room 101 or something. But then Dale rang his dad's wife and there was no mention of garden party so we may have fucked up again there... why are we such muppets? But it will be well nice to see Dale's half brother and sister anyway so we are looking forward to that. It'll be nice to get away anyway. We love 'getting away' so much that I'm wondering what we ever stick around for! We never get to get away anyway because we never have any fucking money - I just don't understand it! Due to the conversation in the pub on Friday night I am aware that everyone has debts of some sort and no-one is loaded which surprised me because no-one I know ever says they can't afford to do something and they all go to bloody music events everywhere and on holiday and I just don't get it! Perhaps we need to live a little and get a credit card. Imagine that, two people who food shop for pleasure and to alleviate boredom let loose with a credit card. A debt collectors wet dream.

Last night we broke the wood burner. A massive (and I mean massive) piece of metal fell out of it and I thought we were all going to die from smoke inhalation. Dale says he has fixed it. I am sceptical but he can try it whilst I am at the gym! Having a wood burner has coincided nicely with my brother becoming a tree surgeon and he bought us round MASSES of fantastic seasoned wood the other day. What a star.

My mum and G are in Fuerta Ventura at the moment. Jealous? Obviously.

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